1
00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:23,220
I'm H -A -P -P -Y.

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00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:27,580
I'm H -A -P -P -Y.

3
00:00:28,060 --> 00:00:31,800
I know I am, I'm sure I am.

4
00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:35,200
I'm H -A -P -P -Y.

5
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I know I am, I'm sure I am. He's H -A -P
-P -Y.

6
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Don't do it, Archie! Doctors have been
wrong before now and life is a precious

7
00:00:48,660 --> 00:00:52,390
gift. I'll ring the Samaritan. Oh, shut
up, Figgis. There's been an accident.

8
00:00:52,391 --> 00:00:54,739
Terrific crash right outside the
hospital.

9
00:00:54,740 --> 00:00:56,280
It's over now. You've missed it.

10
00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:57,550
Where have you been?

11
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Exercising the porters. Whip it.

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Now I've got my legs back, I thought I'd
better use them.

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Well, they haven't been racing against
him, have you, Figgis? No, I've been

14
00:01:03,770 --> 00:01:05,289
walking him through the grounds.

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At least I've been getting some fresh
air in me lungs.

16
00:01:07,270 --> 00:01:09,929
It's what you could do with Archie
instead of staring out of that window

17
00:01:09,930 --> 00:01:13,790
day. I'm not interested in whippets,
Figgis, particularly that one. Anyway,

18
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he'll never win a race. He's got the
mange.

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He hasn't got the mange.

20
00:01:16,651 --> 00:01:18,489
Now, what are all those ball spots?

21
00:01:18,490 --> 00:01:19,630
They're not ball spots.

22
00:01:19,910 --> 00:01:21,530
Well, the other dogs have bit him.

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They're jealous of his speed.

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Speed? He's only had one race and he
finished last.

25
00:01:26,741 --> 00:01:29,689
Well, that wasn't his fault. He put his
foot in a piece of chewing gum just when

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they started.

27
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Poor little devil was stuck to the
ground and he had three good legs.

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I wonder if he finished it all.

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Don't you worry.

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His turn will come.

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We haven't heard the last of Throbbing
Gristle.

32
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Throbbing Gristle?

33
00:01:46,670 --> 00:01:47,720
What a name.

34
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It's very descriptive. That's what he's
like when he's moving. Throbbing

35
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Gristle.

36
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He's getting a real turn of speed,
Archie. You should have been there.

37
00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,839
No, you should have been here, Figgis.
Terrific collision. You missed a real

38
00:01:56,840 --> 00:02:00,499
treat. Oh, have I, Archie? Much blood,
was there? Anything particularly

39
00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:03,539
to report? Could you hear the cries of
the wounded? What are you getting at,

40
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:07,879
Figgis? Only that after the pure animal
joy of exercising a whippet, I find your

41
00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:10,110
interest in road accidents rather
macabre.

42
00:02:10,111 --> 00:02:13,859
You and Norman watched those ambulances
arrive like a couple of vultures.

43
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I wasn't watching, Figgis. I just heard
this loud bang, so I went across to

44
00:02:18,740 --> 00:02:19,699
look.

45
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This yobbo had come down the hospital
road in a souped -up banger doing, I

46
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:27,140
know what, some incredible speed and
went straight into the side of this

47
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Oh, wait a minute. If you weren't
watching, how do you know he was doing

48
00:02:30,580 --> 00:02:31,619
incredible speed?

49
00:02:31,620 --> 00:02:34,159
Well, you could tell just by looking at
him. Leather jacket, cowboy boots and a

50
00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:35,680
medallion. Absolute retro.

51
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:38,860
I feel sorry for the chap in the Jag.

52
00:02:39,180 --> 00:02:42,370
Well, of course you do. That's your
class solidarity coming out.

53
00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:45,929
You know, you've got to try and free
yourself of this irrational prejudices,

54
00:02:45,930 --> 00:02:49,649
Archie. What about your irrational
prejudices? You can't stand chaps who

55
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in shirt sleeves and have Kleenex
tissues in the back.

56
00:02:52,361 --> 00:02:55,999
Precisely. None of us is impartial.
Well, you didn't see the blighter when

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00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,079
got him out. He was reeling and
staggering.

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He'd just been in a car crash, Archie.
What do you expect him to be doing? And

59
00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:04,599
stands. Well, I think he was on drugs or
drink or both. He was lucky to get away

60
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:07,979
with a few cuts and bruises. Of course,
there may have been something internal.

61
00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:10,150
That's right. Let's look on the bright
side.

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00:03:10,380 --> 00:03:13,030
Well, at least it happened right outside
a hospital.

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00:03:13,031 --> 00:03:16,739
Thorpe and Gupta were on the spot almost
at once. Yeah, well, business has been

64
00:03:16,740 --> 00:03:18,480
a bit slack just lately, hasn't it?

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00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:21,580
It's no joking matter, Figgis. Of course
it isn't.

66
00:03:21,581 --> 00:03:24,959
And come away from that window, for
God's sake. We'll get enough of that

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00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,010
Norman comes in.

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00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:30,679
He sits in that garden watching the
crossroads and doing his basket weaving

69
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,970
one of those old ladies round the
guillotine.

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00:03:34,700 --> 00:03:38,959
Know what I've just seen? What did I
tell you? You mean the car crash. I was

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looking at it from the window.

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00:03:40,580 --> 00:03:42,360
From the window? I was there.

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00:03:42,361 --> 00:03:43,999
Well, what happened, Norman?

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I don't think I can tell you, Fig. I've
had my name and address taken. I shall

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00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:50,299
probably be a witness for the Crown. So
until then, the matter is subdued to

76
00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:54,219
see. Oh, come on, Norman, you can tell
us. No, I'm afraid not. All I can say is

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that the whole scene is indelibly
engraved on my mind. Just don't ask me

78
00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:00,539
about it, that's all. I can't tell you
what happened. We don't want to know

79
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,339
happened. Just tell us whose fault it
was.

80
00:04:02,340 --> 00:04:04,060
That is for the court to decide.

81
00:04:04,340 --> 00:04:06,320
I know whose fault it was.

82
00:04:06,321 --> 00:04:09,459
I don't know why they allow cars like
that on the road. They're probably held

83
00:04:09,460 --> 00:04:10,540
together with string.

84
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:13,250
Oh, hello.

85
00:04:13,251 --> 00:04:14,989
We've just been talking about the crash.

86
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Did you see it? A maniac in a hot rod
rammed a Jaguar.

87
00:04:18,089 --> 00:04:21,529
How do chaps like that get licences?
That's what I want to know.

88
00:04:21,750 --> 00:04:22,800
That was me.

89
00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:25,400
Oh, was it?

90
00:04:25,870 --> 00:04:29,810
Well, that's your bed over there. Can
you manage?

91
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:32,820
Of course I can manage. There's nothing
wrong with me.

92
00:04:35,910 --> 00:04:37,050
Nothing wrong with him.

93
00:04:37,170 --> 00:04:38,470
He's out on his feet.

94
00:04:39,110 --> 00:04:41,580
Probably on his way home from an all
-night party.

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00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:45,630
I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't get
the breathalyser in here before long.

96
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:47,770
What did I tell you?

97
00:04:47,980 --> 00:04:49,030
Here's the fuzz.

98
00:04:51,180 --> 00:04:52,800
Now, these are someone's garden.

99
00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:54,490
Yours, I believe.

100
00:04:55,740 --> 00:04:57,480
Seven. They're supposed to be lucky.

101
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Not for me, they weren't.

102
00:04:58,761 --> 00:05:02,499
Well, Ronnie, if you will hang them from
the windscreen and obscure your vision.

103
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How do you know my name?

104
00:05:03,641 --> 00:05:06,059
That was on the windscreen as well, what
was left of it.

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Along with Maureen.

106
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We're not looking for Maureen, are we?
No.

107
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It's not Ronnie and Maureen any more.

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Lucky for her, she could have ended up
the same as the dyke.

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I wasn't going fast.

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Weren't you?

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This isn't the first time we've had
words, is it, Ronnie?

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I've had to stop you before and warn you
about speeding.

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In fact, I remember giving you some
sound advice about your future behaviour

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what happened.

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You drove away with my gauntlets.

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Look, I wasn't speeding. I was flowing
down.

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Oh, yeah.

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Yeah.

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00:05:33,991 --> 00:05:35,559
First, you'd better tell me what
happened.

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He doesn't have to answer any questions,
not in his condition.

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Who are you, sir? It's a listener.

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00:05:41,660 --> 00:05:44,479
This is hospital mate, not a courtroom.
How do you know he's spitting off to

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answer questions?

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He's only got a few bruises. You don't
know that. I suggest until you've had

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results of his X -ray, you go off and
catch a few burglars.

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00:05:51,691 --> 00:05:54,879
That wouldn't be very easy, sir. You
see, I'm in traffic control.

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00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:58,159
That doesn't give you the right to hound
a motorist in his bed. Would you mind

128
00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:00,859
keeping out of this, sir? What if I
don't? What are you going to do,

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00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:01,910
to the bed rail?

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00:06:01,911 --> 00:06:05,479
I must say, the idea does have a certain
appeal, but I don't think that'll be

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necessary.

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00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:10,220
Ronnie looks fit enough to me. How do
you know he hasn't got concussion?

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00:06:10,460 --> 00:06:14,379
Oh, come on, sir, please. No, I wasn't
speeding. I was going to outpatients for

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treatment.

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Now I'm in here with concussion.

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00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:19,750
Only wink as I had a rash on the back of
me hand.

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00:06:19,751 --> 00:06:23,219
It was this twit in a Jaguar he pulled
straight out in front of me and I didn't

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00:06:23,220 --> 00:06:26,379
stand a chance. Of course you didn't.
Oh, Doctor, I'm glad you've come here

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00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:28,100
in time to prevent a miscarriage.

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00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:30,300
We usually do that in maternity figures.

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00:06:30,301 --> 00:06:34,559
I mean a miscarriage of justice, Doctor.
This is the lad who was involved in

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00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,979
that accident with that twit and a
jaguar. Twit and a jaguar? That was me,

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00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:39,030
figures.

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00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:43,210
Now, get back to bed and let me examine
the patient.

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00:06:44,380 --> 00:06:47,090
I was wondering, sir, if he was fit to
make a statement.

146
00:06:47,260 --> 00:06:49,850
I don't see why not, officer. Let's have
a look at him.

147
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,620
Oh, my God, not you again.

148
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:56,999
Now, don't be apprehensive, Ronnie. No
hard feelings. I'm a doctor first and a

149
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,740
motorist second. How many fingers?

150
00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:01,350
Two. And I don't like the way you're
holding them.

151
00:07:01,351 --> 00:07:05,119
Seems all right to me. I don't see why
you shouldn't make a statement. But I've

152
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:05,979
got a headache.

153
00:07:05,980 --> 00:07:09,239
Of course you've got a headache. You hit
my car like a guided missile.

154
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:10,290
I wasn't speeding.

155
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:11,650
Words, speeding.

156
00:07:11,740 --> 00:07:13,960
You're just a blur coming down that
road.

157
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,130
Fortunately, you don't have to take my
word for it.

158
00:07:17,260 --> 00:07:18,920
Gupta was in the car with me.

159
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:22,780
Same. What was your impression, sir? Mr.
Topp is quite blameless.

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00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,140
He's a very good driver.

161
00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:26,790
The other car was going too fast, in my
opinion.

162
00:07:26,791 --> 00:07:30,219
Yes, in your opinion, but let's face it,
you're not used to English traffic.

163
00:07:30,220 --> 00:07:32,020
A bullock cart would seem fast to you.

164
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:34,330
That is true.

165
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:38,499
I do not like the traffic here. I prefer
to walk, but Mr. Thorpe stopped and

166
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,840
kindly offered me a lift. Where was
that?

167
00:07:41,140 --> 00:07:44,450
Just outside the hospital where those
two yellow lines are drawn.

168
00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:48,140
Say, what happened next?

169
00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:53,160
Mr. Thorpe was very careful. He checks
the mirror.

170
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,500
She looks out of the window.

171
00:07:56,600 --> 00:08:01,740
Nothing is coming. Then he puts his hand
out of the window to indicate and says,

172
00:08:01,860 --> 00:08:03,600
Hang on to your hat, Gupta. Here we go.

173
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:06,960
Then there is a time when my head is hit
on the window.

174
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:10,140
Hang on to your hat, Gupta.

175
00:08:11,060 --> 00:08:14,520
Here we go. Yes, well, Gupta, I don't
think we need chapter and verse.

176
00:08:14,521 --> 00:08:17,939
On the contrary, sir, I think we might
need even more than that. Yeah, well, so

177
00:08:17,940 --> 00:08:19,380
do I, but that's all we've got.

178
00:08:19,381 --> 00:08:21,659
What a pity there weren't any other
witnesses.

179
00:08:21,660 --> 00:08:25,039
Oh, but there is. The young man over
there, he witnessed the whole thing.

180
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,930
What? Yeah. In fact, I was just about to
take his statement.

181
00:08:27,931 --> 00:08:31,559
Well, no, I can't allow that. Not just
at the moment. He's still undergoing

182
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:34,558
treatment. See the high colour, the red
spots on the cheeks?

183
00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:35,279
Feverish, yes.

184
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:38,110
Highly excitable. You'll have to wait
till he calms down.

185
00:08:38,179 --> 00:08:39,460
Could I have a word?

186
00:08:39,461 --> 00:08:43,558
Incompetent. What is it, Glover? Well, I
don't think there's any need to take a

187
00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:46,860
statement. I think that we could settle
this matter here and now.

188
00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:49,380
I can smell alcohol.

189
00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:56,600
I believe you're right. Now you mention
it, so can I.

190
00:08:58,180 --> 00:09:02,280
I wonder, sir, could you ask him to blow
into this for me?

191
00:09:03,390 --> 00:09:07,050
Certainly. Ronnie, I wonder if you'd
mind blowing into this bag for the

192
00:09:07,051 --> 00:09:09,089
just to show you weren't drinking before
the accident.

193
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,770
No, no, I don't trust those things.

194
00:09:10,771 --> 00:09:12,889
Well, they're very dependable. It's a
mere formality.

195
00:09:12,890 --> 00:09:14,690
You can't expect me to blow into that.

196
00:09:14,730 --> 00:09:16,530
I haven't got the strength. I'm thick.

197
00:09:16,650 --> 00:09:18,510
You're not too thick to blow into a bag.

198
00:09:18,511 --> 00:09:21,049
All you have to do is prove it to your
lips and give it a good, sharp blow.

199
00:09:21,050 --> 00:09:22,100
Look, just like this.

200
00:09:24,091 --> 00:09:26,629
See, there's nothing to it.

201
00:09:26,630 --> 00:09:28,150
Excuse me, sir. Yes, what is it?

202
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:31,840
The crystals will change colours.

203
00:09:35,791 --> 00:09:42,419
What's happening now, Figgett? Ronnie's
down in X -ray and Thorpe's drinking

204
00:09:42,420 --> 00:09:43,379
gallons of water.

205
00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:46,019
Do you think Thorpe's the secret
drinker? More than probable.

206
00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:47,760
Often happens to professional men.

207
00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:48,959
Pillars of the community.

208
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:49,899
It's the pressure.

209
00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:52,619
Figgett, if Thorpe drank, he wouldn't be
able to do his job properly. That's

210
00:09:52,620 --> 00:09:53,670
what I mean.

211
00:09:53,980 --> 00:09:55,900
We always thought it was incompetence.

212
00:09:55,901 --> 00:09:59,219
Of course, there were signs. Every time
he leans over me, I swear I can hear the

213
00:09:59,220 --> 00:10:04,479
clink of hip flask. My music teacher was
like that. She led a perfectly normal

214
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,479
life. Never a hint that anything was
wrong. Well, except that sometimes she

215
00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:09,419
slammed the lid down while I was
playing.

216
00:10:09,420 --> 00:10:12,760
Then I started to find these whiskey
bottles in the piano stall.

217
00:10:12,761 --> 00:10:15,159
You see, Archie, you can never go by
appearances.

218
00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:18,830
Thought was over the limit. And what
he's come through with flying colour.

219
00:10:29,740 --> 00:10:31,160
the whole thing, Norman.

220
00:10:31,161 --> 00:10:34,999
I can't tell you how delighted I am to
know that I've got a witness of your

221
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:38,860
calibre. After 30 years of blameless
motoring, that means something.

222
00:10:38,861 --> 00:10:40,099
Yes, Doctor?

223
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:43,460
Now, tell me, Norman, what exactly did
you see?

224
00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:46,820
I can't discuss that, Mr Thorpe. After
all, you're involved.

225
00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:51,420
Well, of course not, but he was going
too far, wasn't he? You saw him.

226
00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:53,930
He was speeding. I didn't have a chance,
did I?

227
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,010
Come on, you little pig! Tell me what
you saw!

228
00:10:57,011 --> 00:11:01,089
Are you trying to tamper with a witness,
Doctor? Of course not. Good, because

229
00:11:01,090 --> 00:11:02,649
you're in enough trouble as it is.

230
00:11:02,650 --> 00:11:06,329
I don't think so. I think the officer
accepted my explanation. I simply had a

231
00:11:06,330 --> 00:11:09,509
drink when I got back into the hospital
to calm my nerves. Oh, yes? Well, I

232
00:11:09,510 --> 00:11:11,989
don't think you're out of the wood yet.
And if he wants a blood sample, I

233
00:11:11,990 --> 00:11:13,549
suggest you take it out of your big toe.

234
00:11:13,550 --> 00:11:17,109
With any luck, it won't be down there
yet. I don't think that'll be necessary,

235
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:21,710
Figgins. I keep telling you it was not
my fault. What exactly did happen,

236
00:11:21,870 --> 00:11:26,769
Doctor? Well, I... Face me that
wheelchair, Glover, and I'll show you.

237
00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:27,820
be my car.

238
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:31,070
Hey, wait a minute, Norman, you grab
that one, I'll be Ronnie.

239
00:11:31,140 --> 00:11:34,160
Now, I was coming out like this.

240
00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:38,159
Right, now, I'm coming down the road.
Show me exactly what happened. Right,

241
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:39,210
figures.

242
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:48,790
When are you going to get started? I'll
be by you in a minute.

243
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:52,670
What are you waiting for, Glover? I
haven't released the handbrake.

244
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:55,800
All right, smarty.

245
00:11:55,801 --> 00:11:59,659
These precautions, I'm amazed you
managed to win each other at all. Yes,

246
00:11:59,660 --> 00:12:01,100
you're not going fast enough.

247
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,520
Change cars and I'll show you.

248
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:08,220
Right, Norman, come on now, go faster
this time.

249
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:10,890
Faster, Norman, you can go faster.
Norman!

250
00:12:13,580 --> 00:12:15,520
My God, not you again.

251
00:12:16,411 --> 00:12:23,059
Mr Thorpe's got to take another
breathalyser in 20 minutes. Did you hear

252
00:12:23,060 --> 00:12:25,230
Norman? Sounds as if it could come to
court.

253
00:12:25,231 --> 00:12:26,569
You could be the star witness.

254
00:12:26,570 --> 00:12:30,149
Do you think so? I've always wanted to
take part in a real courtroom drama. I'm

255
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:33,209
quite looking forward to it. Well, I'm
not. When you've been in as many

256
00:12:33,210 --> 00:12:36,700
courtroom dramas as what I have, they
tend to lose their fascination.

257
00:12:37,210 --> 00:12:38,950
They'll tear you to shreds in there.

258
00:12:38,951 --> 00:12:42,489
They won't do that, will they, Fig? Of
course not, as long as you keep a clear

259
00:12:42,490 --> 00:12:46,429
head. A clear head? A good barrister
would make mincemeat out of him. All

260
00:12:46,430 --> 00:12:47,690
got to do is tell the truth.

261
00:12:47,750 --> 00:12:51,890
Ah, but the truth is a subject that has
perplexed philosophers through the ages.

262
00:12:52,150 --> 00:12:53,370
I know what I saw.

263
00:12:54,230 --> 00:12:55,280
And I...

264
00:12:55,281 --> 00:12:57,389
There's no reason to doubt you, Norman.

265
00:12:57,390 --> 00:13:02,609
You were sitting in the garden with an
uninterrupted view of the road when Mr

266
00:13:02,610 --> 00:13:05,790
Thorpe pulled out sharply into the
traffic.

267
00:13:06,110 --> 00:13:07,570
Well, yes, I suppose so.

268
00:13:07,850 --> 00:13:10,920
Objection. You're leading the witness.
Objection overruled.

269
00:13:11,090 --> 00:13:15,730
You said, I suppose so. Now, I don't
want you to say anything you don't mean,

270
00:13:15,770 --> 00:13:20,129
but remember, accidents don't just
happen, they are caused, and it's quite

271
00:13:20,130 --> 00:13:23,430
natural to speculate, but speculation is
not proof.

272
00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:28,940
On the other hand, you are a very
observant young man. You always win at I

273
00:13:29,180 --> 00:13:30,230
I've noticed that.

274
00:13:30,580 --> 00:13:34,140
And honest, haven't you got an O level
in divinity?

275
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,640
Yes. Did you hear that, gentlemen?

276
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,900
An O level in divinity.

277
00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:41,700
How many people can say that?

278
00:13:42,180 --> 00:13:49,179
Now, I want you to tell me, in your own
words, exactly what happened when

279
00:13:49,180 --> 00:13:51,880
Mr Thorpe pulled out sharply.

280
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:53,280
You're doing it again.

281
00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,070
You can't really blame Mr Thorpe. He was
distracted.

282
00:13:56,540 --> 00:13:58,950
Oh, and what makes you think he was
distracted?

283
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,430
He was waving to this girl across the
road.

284
00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:04,900
What girl?

285
00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:09,480
She had a tight white sweater, blue
miniskirt, white boots and a ponytail.

286
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:12,170
Oh, yes, I've seen her. She's nice,
isn't she?

287
00:14:12,260 --> 00:14:16,220
And are you suggesting that Mr Thorpe
was ogling her?

288
00:14:17,060 --> 00:14:21,799
Well... It looked like it. Of course it
did. What we have here, gentlemen, is

289
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:22,819
the hidden statistic.

290
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:26,799
How many accidents have been caused, I
wonder, by the unexpected glimpse of a

291
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:30,640
well -filled sweater? And we all know Mr
Thorpe's weakness in that respect.

292
00:14:30,980 --> 00:14:35,939
I put it to you that he came out of the
Red Lion, his blood already inflamed by

293
00:14:35,940 --> 00:14:39,780
alcohol, copped this girl across the
road and flipped his lid.

294
00:14:40,540 --> 00:14:41,660
He drove off.

295
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:47,190
His eyes standing out on stalks straight
into the path of my client's car.

296
00:14:48,170 --> 00:14:50,010
No further questions.

297
00:14:50,510 --> 00:14:52,110
I rest my case.

298
00:14:54,170 --> 00:14:55,410
My witness.

299
00:15:00,030 --> 00:15:02,590
Now... Norman.

300
00:15:04,610 --> 00:15:06,790
Let's take it step by step, shall we?

301
00:15:08,110 --> 00:15:10,190
You've known Mr Thorpe for some time.

302
00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:13,450
Yeah. Have you ever known him the worst
for drink?

303
00:15:14,010 --> 00:15:18,509
No. Would you consider him the sort of
man who is indifferent to the life and

304
00:15:18,510 --> 00:15:20,510
safety of another human being?

305
00:15:20,511 --> 00:15:21,929
Well, no.

306
00:15:21,930 --> 00:15:26,269
Do you think that a man who has spent
his life making people fit and well so

307
00:15:26,270 --> 00:15:30,349
that they can leave hospital to lead a
normal and useful life would spend his

308
00:15:30,350 --> 00:15:33,210
leisure hours trying to put them back
into casualty?

309
00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:35,430
Of course not.

310
00:15:37,430 --> 00:15:39,590
Do you drive a car yourself, Norman?

311
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,440
No, but I'm taking lessons.

312
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:44,060
Taking lessons.

313
00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:51,559
And yet you say that Mr Thorpe pulled
out sharply this from a non -driver, a

314
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:55,079
who on his own admission wouldn't know
one car from another and who has never

315
00:15:55,080 --> 00:16:01,899
pulled anything out sharply or otherwise
and

316
00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:07,820
who knows nothing of the refinements of
power -assisted steering.

317
00:16:07,821 --> 00:16:12,959
I put it to you, Norman, that Mr Thorpe
was carrying out a perfectly sensible

318
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:17,460
manoeuvre and that it was your attention
that was distracted by the young lady.

319
00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:20,840
No. Then why can you manage to describe
her so minutely?

320
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,680
I'm observant. And what was Mr Thorpe
wearing?

321
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:25,720
A suit, I think. A suit?

322
00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:28,090
You think?

323
00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:32,320
What day is it today, Norman?

324
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:33,730
Uh, Tuesday.

325
00:16:34,199 --> 00:16:35,399
It's Wednesday, Norman.

326
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:39,459
You're not a very reliable witness, are
you? Did you really see the accident,

327
00:16:39,460 --> 00:16:42,839
Norman? I put it to you that you did
not, that you don't even know which day

328
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:45,859
occurred, that the sight of that girl
drove all other thoughts from your mind,

329
00:16:45,860 --> 00:16:49,519
and now, due to some desire for cheap
notoriety or some dissatisfaction with

330
00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:52,639
your medical treatment, you are
determined to malign an honourable

331
00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:53,459
medical profession.

332
00:16:53,460 --> 00:16:56,379
No! I try to put it to you that you are
a liar and that the whole of your

333
00:16:56,380 --> 00:16:58,079
testimony is a complete fabrication.

334
00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,959
I am not a liar! Don't prevaricate, sir.
Answer the question.

335
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:02,420
Yes or no? Yes!

336
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:05,470
No. What was the question? I've
forgotten.

337
00:17:05,471 --> 00:17:08,409
That is not all. You've forgotten.
You've forgotten that it is your

338
00:17:08,410 --> 00:17:12,390
your evidence alone that could send an
innocent man to prison.

339
00:17:13,210 --> 00:17:14,260
Oh, heavens!

340
00:17:16,329 --> 00:17:19,050
Very nice piece of cross -examination,
Archie.

341
00:17:19,710 --> 00:17:20,760
Thank you, Roy.

342
00:17:22,581 --> 00:17:28,669
Please be calm, Mr. Topp. I'm sure
there's nothing to worry about.

343
00:17:28,670 --> 00:17:29,870
Nothing to worry about?

344
00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:32,360
Hang on to your hat, Gupta. Here we go.

345
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,740
What a witness you turned out to be.

346
00:17:35,580 --> 00:17:36,900
No wonder he's suspicious.

347
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,690
But you have nothing to fear. You're
innocent.

348
00:17:39,691 --> 00:17:40,459
That's right.

349
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:43,710
I'm innocent. What have I got to worry
about? I must remember that.

350
00:17:43,931 --> 00:17:45,999
What is it, Norman?

351
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,730
All I wanted to say, Mr Thorpe, was that
I never wanted to send you to prison.

352
00:17:49,731 --> 00:17:54,119
What? But I must tell the truth, mustn't
I? You wouldn't want me to commit

353
00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:55,660
perjury. My God.

354
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:58,280
What are you going to tell them?

355
00:17:58,330 --> 00:18:01,250
Well, it was about waving to that girl
across the road.

356
00:18:01,251 --> 00:18:03,849
You mean the one with the ponytail and
the white boots, but I barely noticed

357
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:04,900
her.

358
00:18:06,050 --> 00:18:08,770
I was indicating to move out. I wasn't
waving.

359
00:18:09,010 --> 00:18:11,660
No, you weren't waving, Mr Thorpe. You
were drowning.

360
00:18:11,661 --> 00:18:14,669
Don't you start thinking I tell you it
wasn't my fault. It was an accident.

361
00:18:14,670 --> 00:18:17,749
There is no such thing as a pure
accident. It's always somebody's fault.

362
00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:19,550
Perhaps it's some sort of death wish.

363
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:22,870
I do not have a death wish. It was his
fault. He was speeding. Ask Gupta.

364
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:26,839
Yes, I was coming to that. I thought
Gupta seemed rather nervous when he was

365
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,850
making his statement, as if he was
trying to hide something.

366
00:18:29,851 --> 00:18:32,419
Of course I was nervous. I'd just been
in an accident.

367
00:18:32,420 --> 00:18:36,000
I hate the traffic here. I wish I'd
never got into that car. I didn't want

368
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:37,940
Because Mr Thorpe had been drinking?

369
00:18:37,941 --> 00:18:39,459
No, you don't understand.

370
00:18:39,460 --> 00:18:40,479
Gupta's Hindu.

371
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,060
To him, all life is sacred.

372
00:18:42,061 --> 00:18:45,899
He made me stop last week while three
sparrows were having a dust bath in the

373
00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:47,560
road. That's not it.

374
00:18:47,980 --> 00:18:49,900
What are you trying to hide, Booktown?

375
00:18:49,901 --> 00:18:53,079
I'm not hiding anything. I saw the car
through the back window. It was coming

376
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:53,799
too fast.

377
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,739
Well, that surprises me because I went
to have a look at that car. What were

378
00:18:56,740 --> 00:18:59,919
blood donor stickers, three packets of
tissues, a set of golf clubs? I'm amazed

379
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:01,060
you could see anything.

380
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:05,150
You must have noticed something. I
distinctly remember him grabbing the

381
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:06,570
Grabbing the wheel?

382
00:19:06,571 --> 00:19:10,499
I'm sorry, my friend. Figures is right.
I did not see the car.

383
00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:13,390
I've deceived you. It's all my fault. I
caused the accident.

384
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,810
I grabbed the wheel because of the dog.
What dog?

385
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:19,410
A half -starved dog with bare patches
that ran out in front of you.

386
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,660
You made me swerve because of a dog?

387
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,210
That dog could have been your
grandmother.

388
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:31,820
My grandmother said, Harrogate, Gupta.

389
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:36,930
Typical of you. You swerve to avoid a
dog and knock down a dozen pedestrians.

390
00:19:36,931 --> 00:19:40,759
You're right, Gupta. There was a dog. I
remember seeing it running away. It was

391
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:41,810
throbbing cripple.

392
00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:50,480
Waters Whippet, you were exercising it,
weren't you, Fig? Well, yes.

393
00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:53,199
You said you'd have another lead. Well,
now I'll let it off for a run. You said

394
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,599
it all. You're a busy road. I'll be gone
for a minute.

395
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,439
You know what you said, Fig, is there's
no such thing as a pure accident.

396
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:00,220
I think we've found the culprit.

397
00:20:00,420 --> 00:20:01,860
You mean Throbbing Gristle?

398
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:02,970
No, I mean you, Fig.

399
00:20:02,971 --> 00:20:03,859
Would

400
00:20:03,860 --> 00:20:12,679
you

401
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,980
blow into the bag once more, sir?

402
00:20:15,540 --> 00:20:16,720
But here... If you would.

403
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:22,300
If you'd just dispose of the minto
first.

404
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:39,500
Ah, you appear to be clear, sir.

405
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,240
You mean there'll be no charge?

406
00:20:43,180 --> 00:20:45,950
Oh, go sir, of course there won't be any
charge for that.

407
00:20:45,951 --> 00:20:49,659
That just leaves parking on a double
yellow line, driving without due care

408
00:20:49,660 --> 00:20:53,359
attention, and failure to display an up
-to -date excise licence. Apart from

409
00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:54,519
that, you're in the clear.

410
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,999
Of course, it's not for me to decide.
That'll be up to the Chief Constable.

411
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,380
Cold, Jeff. It's full.

412
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,870
Not exactly. There is the question of
exceeding the speed limit.

413
00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:04,240
I wasn't going fast.

414
00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:05,760
There were no brake marks.

415
00:21:05,820 --> 00:21:07,260
Ronnie, there were no brakes.

416
00:21:07,261 --> 00:21:12,659
There was also play in the... Steering,
a ball -front tyre and an insecure roof

417
00:21:12,660 --> 00:21:15,999
rack. Look, just because I've got an old
car, there's no need to be vindictive.

418
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,479
He's right. The state of that traffic
out there, that accident could have

419
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:19,299
happened to anyone.

420
00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:20,279
No, sir.

421
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:21,820
Accidents are avoidable.

422
00:21:21,821 --> 00:21:25,579
I've been in traffic for ten years.
Never had a scratch. That's because

423
00:21:25,580 --> 00:21:27,260
everybody gives you a wide berth.

424
00:21:27,261 --> 00:21:31,039
Now, don't blame them. You never miss a
chance to persecute the motorist, do

425
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:34,219
you? On the contrary, sir, one of the
worst aspects of this case is the way a

426
00:21:34,220 --> 00:21:37,560
pet was allowed to run unrestricted on a
public highway.

427
00:21:37,561 --> 00:21:41,099
I shall be informing the chief constable
of that as well, sir.

428
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:41,859
Good day.

429
00:21:41,860 --> 00:21:42,910
Good day.

430
00:21:43,460 --> 00:21:45,300
Oh, he's left his gauntlets.

431
00:21:45,301 --> 00:21:47,879
Oh, quickly, Gutter, before he thinks
we've stolen them.

432
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:49,160
You told him.

433
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:53,839
Well, he wanted a statement, Roy. I had
to tell the truth. Well, couldn't you

434
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:57,879
have bent it a bit? He's a regular
little George Washington, isn't he? You

435
00:21:57,880 --> 00:21:58,619
what you are?

436
00:21:58,620 --> 00:21:59,670
You're a grass.

437
00:21:59,780 --> 00:22:02,190
I just hope that you can live with it,
that's all.

438
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:06,579
But it was my public duty, Roy. Don't
you talk to me! In fact, after this, I

439
00:22:06,580 --> 00:22:08,329
doubt if anyone will talk to you again.

440
00:22:08,330 --> 00:22:09,830
You can carry your duty too far.

441
00:22:10,170 --> 00:22:13,300
And come away from that window, you've
caused enough trouble.

442
00:22:13,550 --> 00:22:14,600
He's in a hurry.

443
00:22:14,601 --> 00:22:17,329
Of course he is. He can't wait to get
down there and file his report.

444
00:22:17,330 --> 00:22:18,380
Thanks to you.

445
00:22:18,570 --> 00:22:19,620
Hey, look out!

446
00:22:19,621 --> 00:22:20,909
What's happened?

447
00:22:20,910 --> 00:22:22,230
He's just hit an ambulance.

448
00:22:22,231 --> 00:22:23,409
Is he hurt?

449
00:22:23,410 --> 00:22:24,460
He's limping a bit.

450
00:22:24,670 --> 00:22:26,910
Oh, dear, oh, dear. What's a tragedy?

451
00:22:26,911 --> 00:22:28,369
Oh, that's spoiled his record.

452
00:22:28,370 --> 00:22:30,489
It certainly has. He was going out of
the no -exit gate.

453
00:22:30,490 --> 00:22:31,469
What?

454
00:22:31,470 --> 00:22:32,670
And you saw him?

455
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:34,370
Where are you going?

456
00:22:34,371 --> 00:22:36,759
I'm keeping out of the way. I'm not
going to be a witness again. What are

457
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,160
talking about? What about your public
duty?

458
00:22:39,161 --> 00:22:40,459
Come on.

459
00:22:40,460 --> 00:22:42,750
We're going to give him your name and
address.

460
00:23:04,420 --> 00:23:06,520
Yes, I'm H -A -P -P -Y.

461
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:08,860
I'm H -A -P -P -Y.

462
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:13,540
I know I am. I'm still I am. I'm H -A -P
-P -Y.

463
00:23:13,740 --> 00:23:15,860
Oh, yes, I'm H -A -P -P -Y.

464
00:23:15,910 --> 00:23:20,460
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